Empathy. It’s a word that gets thrown around on a daily basis in today’s UX-crazed tech industry. It’s something we all know is important and strive to achieve but do we really know what it means? Does it matter how much we talk about wanting to help people and design solutions that matter, solutions that really help someone live a better life? Talking doesn’t cut it. Sympathy doesn’t cut it.
“I always think of empathy as this kind of, sacred space, when someone is kind of in a deep hole and they shout out from the bottom and they say ‘I’m stuck, it’s dark, I’m overwhelmed.’ And then we look and we say ‘Hey’ and climb down, ‘I know what it’s like down here and you’re not alone.’ Sympathy is ‘Ooh! It’s bad huh? Uh…no. You want a sandwich?” -Dr. Brené Brown
Saying you see that things are tough or just acknowledging the fact that problems exist isn’t enough. In order to take those issues and turn them into something actionable, we first have to understand Theresa Wiseman’s four attributes of empathy: see the world as others see it, understand another’s current feelings, remain non-judgmental, and have the ability to communicate the understanding. Empathy is feeling with other people, not just feeling for them.
We have a responsibility to step out of the studio and talk to people face to face and not only listen to them but feel with them.
The reason for writing this article is twofold. One, we are so entrenched in our own little world that we forget that other people are using our products. We tend to forget that we are not designing for ourselves. We don’t fight the good fight so that we can feel better about ourselves at the end of the day. We do this for our users, the people who spend 10-12 hours a day using our software, sometimes in dire situations. These solutions cannot be created in a box. We have a responsibility to step out of the studio and talk to people face to face and not only listen to them but feel with them.
We should focus on empathizing more with our coworkers and reaching that place of really understanding them and remaining non-judgmental when things occur.
The second reason is that even when we are really focusing on our users and getting our hands dirty and doing wonderful research and meeting extraordinary people, we forget that we also work with people. The software developers, visual designers, project managers, and quality assurance folks are all people with whom we should concern ourselves with too. We should focus on empathizing more with our coworkers and reaching that place of really understanding them and remaining non-judgmental when things occur. Maybe their babysitter cancelled and they can’t work late to finish writing the code for the project that has to be delivered tomorrow morning.
Instead of making it about ourselves and placing judgement we need to feel with them, help them if we can, and understand them and their struggles. That’s the only way to create beautiful products that feel like they were genuinely created for people, by people.
So, an empathetic designer is one who is capable of really understanding all people, and not just those select few that are deemed worthy of understanding. Empathy is hard. It means making ourselves vulnerable and digging deep down to find a similar experience that can help connect you to their feelings. Sometimes it just means saying, “I appreciate you sharing that with me and I don’t know what else to say.” Sometimes listening is all you can do. Remember, try to see the world as others see it, understand another’s current feelings, remain non-judgmental, and have the ability to communicate the understanding.
Empathy is feeling with other people, not just feeling for them.
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Nicely thought out article here. I think you draw an important distinction between sympathy and empathy. Google search defines the term sympathy as “feelings of pity and sorrow for someone else’s misfortune.” To me the word “pity” has always carried with it a silent condescension. Exactly the kind of “I’m up here, and your down there.” sort of feeling that you mention. It means to feel for others, but not to feel with others. So I think you nailed that pretty much on the head. One addition that I might add, is that because empathy implies feeling with other people; It’s not inherently negative. I think very often as designers we get focused on the idea of “pain points”, and that we need to “fix” things. I think equally valuable is the idea of “pleasure points” and that we need to expand user pleasure.